My Immortal Abridged Version!
by DarkGardevoir
Summary: Just a bored author's idea to rewrite that horrid fanfiction. Don't worry, I tried my best, but it's still pretty bad. FLAMES ACCEPTED!
1. Oh No! From Now On, You're A Sue!

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own _Harry Potter_, and I never will (obviously). I did not write _My Immortal_ — I'm simply rewriting it and (TRYING) to make it better. The chapter title came from Episode 1 of _Ouran High School Host Club _— which I want to own, but won't. Damnit.

**LISE NOTES:** Originally by xxxbloodyrists666xxx, I hope to make it slightly better than the first. Yeah, I know it still sucks, but whatever. I actually spelled most things right, and tried to fix up that bad grammar. I'm also omitting all the Hot Topic crap, because I'm from Britain, and we don't have Hot Topic here. Deleting all the clothing descriptions, since Hogwarts has a dress code.

So! Tell me what you think. Flames are accepted, mainly because I'm trying to rewrite the worst fanfiction ever. Enjoy!

–**?–**

**Chapter 1 of the Abridged _My Immortal_**

**AN: **Special thanks to my friend Raven for

helping me with the story. You rock! Justin,

you're the love of my depressing life! You rock

too! Oh, and My Chemical Romance rocks!

Hi, my name is Ebony Way. I have black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks in it, and it reaches mid-back. I have icy blue eyes, like limpid tears, and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee. I'm a vampire; however, my teeth are straight and pearly white. I also have pale skin.

I'm a witch, and I go to a magic school in England that is named Hogwarts. I'm a seventh-year student there (I'm seventeen years old). I'm a goth, in case that goth description up there didn't tell you that.

I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow on this particular day. I was walking on Hogwarts' school grounds. It was snowing something terrible, so there was no sun. I was very happy about this.

A lot of prep-looking girls stared at me, so naturally I flipped them off. Because hey, that's what goths do, right?

A boy's voice called, "Hey Ebony!" I looked up to see who it was. It turned out to be none other than Draco Malfoy.

"What's up, Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said, rather shyly in my opinion.

I heard my friends (A/N: Friends? what friends?) call me, and I had to go away at that moment.

–**?–**

**LISE'S NOTES: **That wasn't too hard… well, anybody, comments, flames? I'm willing to accept them. This was at first just the product of me trying to do a Noob-to-English translation, and, well… someone got the brilliant idea of me rewriting _My Immortal. _Thanks a lot, Carsie.

Oh, yes, if you were wondering: I will not post the hacker's chapter up. That's her creation, and it's fucking kick-ass.


	2. Holy Fucking Shit! It's, Like, Willow!

-1**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own _Harry Potter_, and I never will (obviously). I did not write _My Immortal_ — I'm simply rewriting it and (TRYING) to make it better.

**LISE NOTES:** Pffhaha. This story is way too easy to fix — for me, anyways. Yeah, I'm horrible, but hey, if I don't do it, who will? (it's already plagued the "Threesomes" section on … holyshit)

–**?–**

**Chapter 2 of the Abridged _My Immortal_**

**AN: **Thanks to bloodytears666 for helping

me with the chapter! By the way, preps,

quit flaming my story! Okay?

The next day, I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing once again. I opened the door for my coffin and drank some **water** from the bottle I had. My coffin was a solid black color, and lining the inside was hot pink velvet. Stepping out of my sarcophagus, I took off my MCR shirt I used as pajamas, and slipped my robes on. For the final touch, I put four pairs earrings on my ears and styled my hair into a messy bun.

My friend, Willow, woke up following this and grinned at me, opening her forest green eyes. She, too, put on her uniform, and the two of us put on our makeup.

"I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly, as I put the final touches on my eye liner.

"Yeah? So?" I shot back, hoping she didn't notice my strawberry-shaded face.

"Do you _like _Draco?" Willow questioned as we left the Slytherin common room, heading for the Great Hall.

"No! I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah, right!" she bellowed in an equally loud manner. As Willow finished her sentence, Draco walked up to me, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi," I replied, trying my hardest to sound like I was flirting with him.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade," he told me, obviously aiming to hide his excitement.

"Oh my fucking God!" I screamed, right there, in the middle of the fucking Great Hall. I _love _Good Charlotte, even if I am in Britain and GC's an American band from Maryland.

"Well Ebony, do you want to go with me?" Draco asked uncertainly.

I gasped.

–**?–**

**LISE NOTES: **Well, that's the end of **_Abridged! _**Chapter 2. Comments, flames, suggestions even?


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